There are so many potential pitfalls when it comes to raising kids. Even if the circumstances are perfect, there is always something unexpected waiting around the corner to throw a spanner in the works. For parents who have separated, this is especially true. Trying to coordinate a strategy to raise children from two households can seem impossible at first. Take a look at some of the reasons that co-parenting is so difficult and how you can make it easier.
Lingering Pain from the Breakup
Parting ways with someone you once had feelings for is an understandably rough time. When children are involved, it becomes even more of a challenge. If you are still hurting from the breakup, but you want what’s best for your kids, take advantage of your support system. Friends and family can help you get through the initial heartbreak so that you can stay strong for your children.
Difficulty Communicating with Your Ex
There are so many reasons that communication can be an issue for separated co-parents. If you aren’t able to talk on a regular basis, coordinating plans for your kids can take a lot of effort. Try to set up a reliable system so that you and your ex are on the same page about everything regarding the kids. If you struggle to remain civil or unemotional, there are ways to communicate effectively without necessarily meeting face-to-face or talking directly.
Disagreements About How to Raise Your Children
One of the biggest barriers to successful co-parenting is when each parent has a completely different idea as to how their children should be raised. Perhaps this was even one of the causes of your separation in the first place. While these disagreements can be difficult to compromise on, parallel parenting classes can help you to see more eye-to-eye. It’s unlikely that you will both suddenly agree on every aspect of child-rearing, but it’s a step in the right direction. Professional input can help you both to see the situation in perspective and remember that the number one priority is the wellbeing of your children.
Distance
If you and your ex-partner now live far apart, this can make co-parenting extremely challenging. You will need to carefully consider how much time your kids spend in each home, taking into account their preferences too. Think about what is practical, allowing the children to lead the fullest lives. So long as no one is breaking any custody regulations, long-distance co-parenting can work.
Finances
Raising children takes a huge toll on a person’s finances. Even for households with two parents and two incomes, it can still be a struggle to make ends meet. Co-parenting can be tough since it is more difficult to coordinate payments and share expenses evenly between both parties. However, with a bit of planning and consistency, this, too, can be overcome.
As you can see, co-parenting is one of the best ways to give your kids a great start in life, even if their parents are no longer together.